Always on the fringe. Rarely an active participant, even when I (do) try. Not because I made it that way (or did I?), but because it's how you prefer it (IMO). Too many years of status quo to think a change can happen...the longer it goes on, the more it becomes set in stone- this is how it will always be (the haves & the haves not). Kind of sad, but kind of twisted too. It doesn't (shouldn't) have to be like that. But before it can change, you'd have to WANT to change it, you'd have to acknowledge there's even an issue, you'd have to call yourself out. Won't happen. Won't change. You like the status quo. Everyone in their assigned roles. Same as it ever was.
Is it me? Maybe. I didn't exactly start out this journey working on ensuring my position in this tree. If I would have... would I be part of 'the haves'? Or would I still be part of 'the haves not'? The latter. My role was decided for me long before I even knew we were all up for parts. Had I or the people looking out for me known there was a role to prep for, well, let's be honest...we probably would've asked for crib notes. fml.